Sarkasmo

52 Weeks, Week 12: She kissed me with TONGUE.
Sophie kissed me today. A lot. I'm allergic to dogs, but thanks to Nasonex, I can touch them and be in the same house where they've been. BTW, my eyes are closed because her kisses were going all the way up my face, into my eyeballs.

So this week I'm sharing 10 things you might not know about me. I've had trouble coming up with things that actually fit into the "people might not know this" category, since I tend to overshare in my comments on other photos. Anyway, here we go!

1. I like to spell things correctly, and I like to correct other people's spelling. Even if I don't say anything out loud, if there's a misspelling, my eyes will find it and I'll make a mental note. I will also calculate the chances that it was a typo (for example, "We're going to higher some new employees," vs "We're going to hire some new employees."). This on-the-fly proofreading used to include grammar errors, too, but thanks to the Internet I let a lot of that slide now.

But not apostrophes. I do not let apostrophes slide.

2. I truly believe that I'm a different person now than I was for most of my childhood. I think Mom told me that before Katie was born, I was quiet and didn't like loud environments, and that never changed (if it's true), but that's probably the only thing. At some point, I got it into my head that showing any vulnerability would be a bad thing, and now that I look back, I'm pretty ashamed of how I treated everyone until I was at least 18.

3. I have a thing about eye boogers. That stuff that collects in the corners of eyes. Opti-glop, nocturnuggets, whatever you call it, it bugs the hell out of me. It's nothing for me to turn my eyelids inside out to make sure NONE of that stuff is in my head. I will also wipe it out of my pets' eyes as well as other people's pets' eyes. I'm pretty sure it's a good thing I have good eyesight, since glasses are uncomfortable and I'm constantly touching my eyes.

4. I'm never having kids. For a minute, back when we got married, Darren and I tossed the idea around, but no. I never wanted a baby of my own when I was growing up, and I thought I'd get some kind of maternal urge in my 30s, but it never showed up. I like taking care of Packet, but she's a cat. She pretty much potty-trained herself, she doesn't run around screaming or throwing tantrums, and I can leave her at home when I go shopping. I'm not really anti-baby; I like watching other people's babies grow up on Flickr, I do. Darren and I are simply very-very protective of our "our" time. We take naps, we stay up late, we watch shows with "adult themes" without batting an eye, we eat meals when we feel like it, and we sleep in if we can.

5. I look forward to holding dual citizenship with Canada and the USA. I'm more proud of the US than I was growing up, probably thanks in no small part to 9/11 and my dad. However, I also like living in Canada with my Canadian husband, around my Canadian friends. Maybe I don't drink beer or coffee, but I do like hockey, snow, mild summers, and governments with more than two major political parties. Right now I have permanent residency here; I'll be eligible for citizenship in April of next year.

6. I had something really terrible happen to me when I was younger, and I blocked it from my memory. My hand to God, I never really thought that was possible for people to do until I remembered it. Now I don't trust my own brain as much anymore. What else is it hiding? >.> Even if something is horrible, I would rather know it than have it hidden from me, and my brain (of all brains) should be the one to know that about me.

7. I used to read books all the time. In grade school, I would read books and write book report summaries for them over the summer so they'd be ready for me during the school year. I couldn't sleep at night unless I had something to read. I went through the entire Nancy Drew series in, like, 3rd grade (maybe 4th). I tried to read The Exorcist, but my mom found it and I never did get to the end. I read about ghosts, poltergeists, hauntings, and all things paranormal. I also researched things like street drugs - not because I was interested in doing drugs, but I wanted to know why so many people talked about them. I can only imagine how many things I'd have taught myself if I'd had the Internet back then.

Now? I like reading in the bathroom - anything at all, be it shampoo bottles or books - but aside from that, I prefer audiobooks. I like being able to knit and read, wash dishes and read, walk and read, drive and read. I think that's why reading books only appeals to me in the bathroom anymore. That's one of those "better not try multi-tasking" situations.

8. Never been to college. I hated school so much, I was glad to get out of high school and not very eager to jump back in. I know I have some smarts, and I could maybe apply them to bettering the world in some way, and some sort of post-secondary schooling will be required for me to land a job that isn't the dreaded customer service (customer service jobs have sucked faith from my soul, and that's no lie), but here I am at age 37 and I still haven't the foggiest clue what sort of career would make me happy. I don't even know what to look for while I'm waiting to find something to make me happy.

9. Remember that documentary on HBO back in the early 80s about Nostradamus? The one where he predicted the world would end in, like, May of 1984 (or maybe it was 1986)? I saw that and totally believed it. I was petrified for at least a year and a half that the Earth would be hit by an asteroid or some Hitler-esque tyrant would kill me in a concentration camp. Years later, I saw Red Dawn and realized that's EXACTLY what I had thought was going to happen (if not the asteroid thing). I still hate thinking about dying, but my main concern was that I'd die a mere child, stuck in school and never having experienced much outside of school. I really hated school.

10. I'm a quitter. I don't really stick with things. I stopped taking piano lessons, I stopped playing saxophone (though I honestly think that was doing the world a favor), I dropped out of band, I never pursued an education past high school, and I'm not even going to list all the little crafty pursuits I've devoted my life to, then wandered away from.

So believe me when I say that I believe in soulmates. It bugs the shit out of me when things sound corny like this, but dammit, this is my 10 things, and I have to mention Darren. I'd like to tell you about all the weird things, little and big, that I had to endure to get to the point where Darren and I first crossed paths, but some of it's really private and some of it's the bad stuff I mentioned earlier. The end result is that I met Darren online, but not at a dating site. It was just a random bulletin-board style chat site where I was hanging out with some Internet friends when this Canadian guy wandered in. I still don't know why the words he typed interested me any more than the words that anyone else typed - no one I knew owned a digital camera or a scanner, so avatars were just clip art back then. 12 years later, I'm married to him (we've been married for over 10), and he's been my best friend this whole time. Better than my best friend. He's truly and honestly the only person who just gets me. When I think about the fact that we spent maybe two months actually together before we got married, it blows my mind. That's not even two months in a row, either. That's a week or so here, a week or so there, and a few weeks before the wedding. And then everything after that. And he still loves me. And I still love him.

Well, I haven't quit knitting. I've been doing that for a little over 10 years, too, which is also surprising. Darren still places much higher than knitting, though. I give a lot of my knitting away, but I'd fight to the death to keep Darren by me. Possibly using knitting needles.